Dear M. K.,
I appreciate your need for anonymity. Sex is an awkward and uncomfortable subject in our society. Thank you for your frankness. I hope my notes will assists you.
When the literature talks about a woman’s orgasm it is usually referring to the orgasm in intercourse. Many women feel that the orgasm in intercourse is better than the orgasms in masturbation. The orgasm from self-stimulation such as manual stimulation, etc. is often different than that of intercourse. It usually feels more focused and shorter, less all body. This is mainly because self-stimulation tends to focus only on or mostly on the clitoris. The clitoris is an important part of creating a womans orgasm in intercourse as well, but stimulation of the vaginal PC muscle and perhaps even the G-spot during intercourse and the emotional connection with your partner adds so much to the experience of orgasm.
To have an orgasm women need to focus on their own pleasure and to focus on pleasure you need to relax and feel safe. My downloadable self-hypnosis MP3s called the Pure Pleasure System for Women have helped many women enjoy the pleasures of orgasm and may be the help you need to learn to relax and feel safe.
Karen Gless, Ph.D.