As a survivor of sexual abuse, harassment and attacks, you have to deal with painful feelings all too often. You may experience blame, guilt and self-doubt–feelings that can get us all tied up and make us miserable. These feelings start out as a survival technique and then become a habit. It was difficult to deal… Read More
How Do You Protect Yourself from the Corona-virus and Get Your Partner To Do The Same.
I knew early on that information was going to be important to me and everyone else. So I hope you find illumination in these pages to keep you safe, healthy, inspired and happy. In early February, my husband said that the corona virus finally got his attention. I thought to myself, “Yea, now I can… Read More
The Professor asks, Is Sex Therapy Essential for Everyone?
Hello Dr. Gless, I am a retired Professor of Physical Sciences; I would really like to know about sex therapy. I loved teaching and I suspect that many of my colleagues and students could gain by knowing about it. What kind of therapy is it? Is it essential to everyone? How can we use it… Read More
Intimacy, Loneliness and the Internet
Sadly, it seems that there is an epidemic of loneliness in the U.S. The senator from Nebraska, Ben Sasse, has written a book, The Vanishing American Adult, that examines, among other things, the ways that the internet leads to loneliness. The irony of the internet is that as we reach out to more and more people,… Read More
Finding Intimacy
As a therapist, I can see that the nature of a couple’s union has changed over the last 20 years. Fewer couples feel the need to officially marry and women are in a more active and sometimes dominant role as the breadwinner of the family. But what hasn’t changed is the need and desire for… Read More
Princess Diana: The Death of True Love, The Birth of a New Love
Now that it is twenty years since the death of Princess Diana, I have been thinking about the meaning of those events. I cried as I watched the funeral. I had a deep inner sense that not only had we lost a valuable and special person, but also that the dream of a fairy tale… Read More
The Truth About Women’s Sexual Arousal: Baby, Where’s the Fire
It’s amazing how many couples have problems with women’s sexual arousal. The man may feel he can’t get his partner turned on or the woman may feel like her libido has rolled over and died. Lack of desire for sex has many causes. But you can’t find out the source of the problem if you… Read More
How to Deal with the Relationship Problem of Desire Differences
Do you and your partner have trouble agreeing on how often to have sex? This article will show you how to work out your sexual desire differences and discover sexual enhancement. Couples who come in for sex therapy and counseling often have a difference in their desire for sex. In counseling we call this problem… Read More
Discover Winning Relationship Skills From Couples Counseling
My patient Kathy sat on one side of me in tears, crying. On the other side sat her husband, Peter, with their newborn baby and he clearly wasn’t sure what to do. They were both tired and frustrated so they quickly made an appointment when Kathy’s sister recommended they see me for couples counseling. I immediately… Read More
Work it Out – with a Lot Less Pain
When I first heard about the idea of routine and core issues, it didn’t seem that important. But when I used it in my relationship and in my practice, I got excited. It made tons of sense and it really did help my husband and me cool down potentially heated arguments. Then I found that… Read More
How to Rock your Worlds
A while ago I received an email that started: “I have been in my relationship for 20 years. Now that my wife and I are retired I want to solve problems we have been having with our sex life. My wife seldom orgasms and I have been having problems with my erections. I was wondering… Read More
The Best Present – on Valentine’s Day
As Valentine day approaches, men especially are troubled by the question, “What shall I get my sweetheart?” I am reminded of an acquaintance of mine who bought his sweetheart an expensive diamond pendant on a beautiful gold chain. He looked forward to how pretty it would look on her neck and how much the diamonds would impress… Read More
In Only One Session
Every couple has their own unique issues when they come into see me. But how couples treat each other is not unique. This is where I can help couples become relationship experts so they can discover how to have a successful, long-lasting, happy relationship. With one particular couple I was very happy to find out… Read More
Staying Sane during the Season
Sometimes there are just too many things on your plate and you’re not one of them. It is so hard to stop and take care of ourselves sometimes. It is too easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of things. So here are some ideas that I have found helpful and you… Read More
Leave her Begging for More – What Women Really Want
How to Really Leave her Begging for More: The Science of Pleasure There is a belief among men that a session of wild sex that is incredibly exciting will leave a woman begging for more and attached to him for the rest of her life. There are great sexual athletes out there and they may… Read More
Understanding Delayed Ejaculation
We all know that some women have trouble having an orgasm during intercourse, but did you know that some men have the same problem? It’s called delayed ejaculation (DE) and it’s just as hard for a man to deal with it as it is for a woman. How a couple deals with the problem depends on the… Read More
What Helps You be Mindful Into Your Senses and Brings You Joy?
Do you ever let your inner natural child out? It can be so healing and put you back into that centered happy zone that you deserve to be in. I believe that every adult has a right to be that natural child sometimes. Norman Cousins said he healed his cancer through laughter. It was his… Read More
Even Small Adventures Bring Excitement to Life
Even Small Adventures Bring Excitement to Life. Here is One of Mine. What are Yours? I hope you enjoy this video as much as I do. I live where wild turkeys are really rare. So to my shock about Thanksgiving time when my husband and I were hiking on Palomar Mountain we saw some wild… Read More
Can Senior Sex be the Best Sex?
Is there sex after 60? Often the answer to that question depends on who you’re talking to. Younger people may think it stops at 50 while those in their 50’s may say 70 or 80. And some people say, “Great sex never stops. It only gets better.” In my experience with a wide range of… Read More
Peace and Goodwill–at Home: How to Handle Three Trouble Spots
The holidays are upon us, but what should be a happy time can often be very stress filled and emotionally draining for couples. A big source of upset is that we tend to have very strong expectations of ourselves and our partner about what should happen during the holidays. In my practice I have found… Read More